The realist

”I am a realist” I used to say proudly outloud. I lived it and I believed it, and did that really do me much good? Yes and No. No, because it didn’t make me happy, yes because it made me realise I want a change. It got to a point when I knew deep inside I’m not happy with this role i have laid on myself. I saw the optimists as a bit foolish, since I felt they just hid their heads in the bushes and didn’t want to face whats in front of them, still feeling a bit envies of them cause I really wanted to shine light of goodness like they do and not negativity. I started to feel like I wanted something else. I wasn’t and am not the negative person I presented myself to be. Was the negativity just for protection against something? What, I don’t know. I’ve seen and experienced a lot of negative things in my childhood and youth, experienced reality BIG time, I managed to escape that and my adulthood has been more than good to me. Still I held on to the negativity from my past even though I could feel the contrast in that, cause I had changed internally. I experienced, that negativity really won’t get me far, it will just make me feel bad. I create my own reality, I am the feeler of my feelings so why not choose feelings that makes me feel good instead of bad.  How do you change your mindset from one to another?

This is just MY experience, so you may or may not feel like it resonates with you. If it doesn´t, that is ok. These are the steps I took and still take today:

1. Surrender

Acknowledge that you were/are wrong in your current situation, accept it and be willing to change. Don’t beat yourself up for it. See it, accept it and move on.

2. Its not them, its you

What if I told you life is not just happening and you are not just a passenger? You are in charge of your own life and what exists in your reality. You can’t blame any conditions or anyone else for whats wrong in your life even though that would seem easy and fair. If you give negativity out to the world that’s what you’ll get in return. Have you ever had a Facebook friend who constantly complains about everything, every post is written in negativity? Well, take a look at their lives and you´ll see that the negativity has a hold of them and wierd and negative things just seems to happen to them all the time. Makes you think huh?

3. See yourself in a softer light

You don’t have to shout out loud that you changed team, unless you don’t want to, keep it to yourself until you feel you own it, until you feel like no one can shake your foundation with their comments. Start by seeing yourself in a positive light, bit by bit you start to flow your softness out to the world around you, and that does feel good. Trust me. The goal is, that in the end you love yourself, if you don’t all ready. Self love is important, it´s the guiding system of your life, when you love yourself you choose what is best for you under all conditions, you don’t settle for less what you deserve. Without that you are lost and no one else can love you like you should be loved either.

4. Be grateful

Gratitude is something you hear all the mindfulness folks talk about and make quotes of, so that word might feel overused. Still, being grateful of all the small things in your day to day life makes a huge difference in your vibration, it changes from low to high. I keep a book about things I´m grateful of. It makes me focus on feelings that are good and happy. It works.

5. Focus on now

Worrying about tomorrow or feeling regrets about yesterday won’t take you to a happy place (Oh, been there done that over and over again). Focus on now, cause that’s where life is. Life happens now. Focusing on just now and what is going on in the moment helps with anxiety at least for me. No use worrying about all that is coming, take one day at a time.

6. If it feels bad change direction

I think people spend too much time in situations that make them feel sick. They read news that ruins their days, they spend time with people who sucks the life out of them, spends their life working for something they don’t enjoy. Why?  Because of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of not having money, fear of the world collapsing, fear of what lays ahead. Re-direct your focus from the things that feel bad to something that feels good, it can be something really general and easy such as eating ice cream on a beach, or petting your cat. Yes, our minds are easy to fool and distract. And sure, if you have strong beliefs and thought patterns that dwells in negativity, it will take some practice to find the positive thought that shifts that vibration. All that anyone really wants is to be happy, and joy is the meaning of life, not suffering. 

7. Don’t compare yourself to others

We have a strong need to compare ourself to others, and noticing and shouting out the lacks we have and the ugly bits we have. How is that working out for you? 99 out of a 100 youngsters have insecurities about their appearance. The amount of money people spend on changing everything about their physical self is crazy. People loose their connection to their nonphysical side aka soul, because they feel so sick in their bodies, people develop mental illnesses and live in sad vibes most of their lives, never satisfied. Just stop it, give it a rest, give yourself a rest. You are perfect the way you are, give the attention and energy you give to the physical to your nonphysical side and you will create amazing things.

8. Don´t complain

We all do that once and a while. Some seems to live and breathe it. Complaining just doesn´t serve you at all. I never post anything negative on Facebook that´s been the easiest way to avoid getting stuck in a negative spinn. Even though you disagree with someone, let it be. Ignore it. It is not worth it. I still have a lot of work to do with not complaining about things, but I am getting better. It has a big impact on my life not to complain, so I will continue on that path. In the end, we really don´t have any reason to complain since we create our own reality and if it sucks take a look in the mirror and your own behaviour.

I have taken these steps and so much has changed for me. I don’t let myself get distracted by what is, what anyone says or if it rains or snows. I choose my feelings and my reactions. I choose a positive path, just because it makes me happy and fills my life with joy and that is the purpose of life. I choose joy. I always feel that whatever comes my way I can handle and there is a lesson in everything.

Having a positive aspect in life, doesn’t mean you never have bad days or bad feelings or come across sorrow, however when you are aware and take control of your own happiness you can choose your reactions instead of just sitting in a rollercoaster hoping things will smooth out one day. You get over the incidence much faster and cope better. When shit hits the fan, it is easier to clean it up and not get drowned in it. That is power.

Creativity where are you?

Creativity is something that I have had an on and off relationship with for as long as I can remember. It´s not until recent years that I have come to the conclusion that stressing and focusing on the absent of it wont make it grow, it will only make the gap wider. When you work in a creative field the pressure of having it is real. People also like to label others into a creative and uncreative box. If you are labeled creative, you are special, if you have shown tendency of creativity since you were a child you are even better. Some also believe that you are born either way. I believe we can all be creative to some degree, some of us just have a stronger need to express ourselves in a creative manner than others. All children are creative, at least I find it so. They have a wild imagination, and anything is possible. Somewhere along the way most of us lose that ability, due to the belief that “you must grow up” at a certain age, which means that a certain behaviour is not appropriate anymore. We become boring adults. We become aware of opinions of others and we compare our lives to others. You should have an education by a certain age, be married and settle down at a certain age, have kids, have a mortgage and a dog. Being an adult is what kills it. Forgetting how to be playful and curious kills it. Caring what others think about us kills it. The most creative people I´ve met are the ones who have kept their inner child alive, who aren´t afraid to play and who really don´t care what anyone thinks about them. They focus on them selves and what they do, and care about how they feel.

I have certainly not taken the normal path to adulthood. I remember thinking as a teen that I will never do what is expected of me, I will go my own way, I never cared what my parents thought about my choices. Poor parents, it must not have been easy. My mom always said she knew I would “make it” because I was so determined. I did a few mistakes on the road, but so what, that´s how we learn. What kept me out of the creative zone for many years even though I lived by my own rules, was lack of self belief. I have always been drawn to creativity in some form, music, drawing doing hobby crafts, anything where I can put my hands to work and create something. I didn´t have that many friends so I spent hours by myself drawing or learning how to play the guitar. Sad to say I have lost those skills now. When I picked up a camera at the age of 19 I knew that was my thing. I spent hours in the darkroom at school. That was all I did. I loved everything about it, but still I didn´t believe I could do it for real. I needed to be validated by someone else, by who I don´t know. That feeling of being an imposter was strong, like soon everyone will realize that I´m not actually creative or know anything about photography. I´m not a real artist. That held me in it´s firm hug for many years. Deep inside I knew I could do it, but I would not trust it. Nowadays I have finally let go of that, and am connected to my creative side most of the times, when it is necessary. I´ve learnt some ways to guide myself towards that zone if it feels far away. Here are some tips, bare in mind that these are based on my experience and may not resonate or work for you.

Be curious

Be open and curious to new ideas. Maybe your old thoughts and believes are not accurate? See beauty in mundane things. Focus on finding something new in all that is familiar.

Have a positive mindset

A positive attitude is truly important. Even if you consider yourself of being a pessimist or realist, try and see positive aspects in all you do. Negativity is a big block that hinders natural flow of creativity. By being negative, you close yourself to the intuitive side of yourself. Don´t focus on what is, focus on all that is possible even if it realistically it feels impossible.

Trust your vision

If you have a strong vision about what you are going to create. Trust it, follow it, your intuition will you guide you if you let it. Be careful who you ask opinions of, in the end all that matters is how you feel about it.

Believe in you

If you don’t believe in yourself, why would anyone else do that? 

Clear your mind

Especially important if you feel like life is just a big hassle and you don´t have time to think. Go out for a walk. Have a break from social media. Meditate. Focus on something easy. With a clear mind, ideas will start flowing. When we are bored, ideas start flowing. When we focus on something unimportant ideas start flowing.

Do fun things

When we take time to truly have fun, we set our minds to be more allowing for new and positive things to enter our lives. Again negativity don’t feed creativity, being happy and letting go opens the channels to creativity. What do you feel like doing right now?

Accept where you are

Be willing to expand and get better. By settling for the current, you stop progression. Create at the level you are at the moment, be happy and move on. We all go through growing pains.

Dare to dream

Daydream as much as you can. Imagine the impossible, reach for the good feeling things. Without fear, doubt or facing reality. DREAM!

Create for you

When you create with a mindset that it is just for you, you´ll find it´s much easier to try new things. You don´t have to show the whole world everything you create. Just do it for you. You will love the freedom of it and that will make the desire to create grow.

These are just a few tips I have found helpful. Still there are days I don´t feel creative at all, and that is ok too. Just relax and don´t take it so seriously.

How do you get into the creative zone?

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